They say that love is a risk you should always be willing to take. But even if it is, we should be cautious in choosing who we take risks for, because love is a precious thing and we all deserve only the best.
You might be with someone for a long time and know that your feelings for them are strong, but how do you know if they’re “the one” or not? Luckily, there are several different ways you can determine whether your partner is the right one for you or not.
But, don’t get too caught up in trying to find out whether your partner is “the one” or not, otherwise you may end up missing out on the good in them. Don’t be detrimental in the attempt to try and get to the base of your boyfriends or girlfriends feelings for you.
Is Your Partner The One?
When you truly love someone, sometimes you just know. But other times, it may take a little while to realize that this is the person you’re meant to be with. One way to know for sure is if you can be your true, authentic self around them.
You should feel comfortable even when you feel your worst, and you shouldn’t have expectations to change each other. Listed below are 8 simple but undeniable signs that you’re dating the right person.
- You Are Happy to Share Everything – Sharing is caring, we’ve hear this mantra a million times before, but that doesn’t make it less true. If you’re willing to share, then you know in your heart that you have accepted each other without boundaries. If both of you haven’t opened your lives and your hearts to each other completely, and there are still no-go zones in your relationship, then you probably cannot say for certain that the person you are with is “The One.”
- You Don’t Feel You Need to Change Each Other – Your partner has seen you at your worst and still loves you. You are happy with each other and even if there may be some small habits and quirks which you don’t find completely endearing, you still wouldn’t change a thing about each other and you couldn’t imagine being attracted to anyone else. Happiness is just being together. The ordinary becomes extraordinary and it doesn’t matter what you do, as long as you’re doing it together.
- Your Friends and Family are Happy for You – Your partner has taken the effort to get to know your friends and family, and is kind and considerate towards them. In the best scenarios, your friends and family see the same strengths and positive qualities in your partner that you do and are happy for you. Whilst it might sometimes be true that your family might have aspirations for you to marry a specific type of person, if they are able to see the same good points in your partner as you do, then you know that your own perspective of the relationship is not distorted and that the person you think you love, is the same person that your friends and family see as well.
- Being Together Makes You Want To Be The Best Person You Can Be – You are both aware that you are not perfect and you are willing to see where you could improve yourselves. In this case, both people in the relationship are committed to working at becoming a better person for the other. This commitment to the relationship and to each other is the foundation that you need to help grow together harmoniously. It’s important because it reduces the likelihood of you two growing apart from each other in interests, values and attitudes.
- You’re Not Chasing After Your Relationships Potential – This happens when you are in one of those relationships where you keep saying to yourself “you know, everything would work out if…we had better jobs, didn’t live in this city, lived in a house instead of an apartment, had a dog, weren’t so addicted to work…” This type of relationship is characterized by being close to, but not quite, the fairy tail you dreamed of. Unfortunately, you need to understand that even if all of those conditions were fixed, it is unlikely that your relationship problems would be solved. You might find that the “problem” is fixed, but that you would still ultimately be unhappy together. For a relationship to really stand the test of time, you need to be happy with what you have today, and also, to feel that even if you lost some of what you had today, you would still be happy together.
- You Trust and Understand Each Other – You should trust your partner completely and never worry that your partner will do something to hurt you. You are so in tune with each other that you never struggle to express how you feel with each other. You know that your partner understands you when you say it and even when you don’t say it.
- You Manage Conflict Well – Every relationship is going to have conflicts and every couple is going to fight. It’s natural and part of an adjustment process that happens when we try to fit ourselves together as individuals. It’s not the fighting that’s important, but how you resolve your fights and how the two of you manage conflicts together. Do you try your best to fight fair? Do you listen to your partners points, accept when you are wrong, apologize sincerely, forgive readily and work together to find the best possible solution? If you’re able to solve your problems in a respectful, healthy way, then you will be able to grow stronger as a couple.
- You’ve Planned Your Lives Together And You Couldn’t Be Happier About It – The two of you have had all those discussion about where and how you want to live, what your financial goals are, how many children you would like to have, how you will care for your parents as they grow older, which religion you will embrace and what your priorities in life are. After all of these discussions, you’re still together and you’re still happy about it. If this sounds like your relationship, then you’ve made it past the final and biggest hurdle of them all! Having the same values and priorities are the very bedrock upon which happy marriages are built. This same vision and purpose in life is what will keep you going in the same direction despite all of the challenges which life will inevitably throw your way.
Common Questions and Answers
Trying to determine if your partner is “the one” can be a difficult task and present lots of different questions. We searched the web for some of the most commonly asked questions pertaining to this subject and will try to answer them in more detail below. This should give you more clarity when trying to determine if the person you’re dating is truly “the one” for you or not!
How long does it take to know if the person you’re dating is the one?
According to one study, it takes around six months, or 172 days, for someone to decide if the person they are dating is marriage material. Researchers in that study polled 2,000 people (both couples & singles) and found that married and single people have different ideas about how long it will take them to find the person they want to marry. Singles concluded they would need at least 210 days before making such a decision while couples stated it takes an average of about 172 days.
How long does it take to truly know someone?
Getting to know someone varies on two factors: that particular individual, and yourself. Everyone opens up at their own pace and while some people might only take months, others could take years. Timing is very subjective, and this is especially true when it comes to any type of relationship. But, some studies have suggested it can take between 3 and 4 years to truly know someone.
How do you know if he is not the one?
Not all relationships are meant to be. The sooner you accept the reality, the lesser challenges you will face later on. If you’re dating someone that you really like, but just don’t feel that “X Factor” with him, then he’s probably not your one. If he doesn’t value you, then he is not your one. If you feel like you can’t trust him, then there is no point in continuing a relationship with him. If you’re in a relationship with someone who isn’t listening to you or honoring you and your needs, then it’s probably time to run for the hills. These are just a few examples of how you can know if he is not the one to marry!
The question of whether your partner is the one spans centuries for many couples before you. Even though there is no direct way for you to find out, you can get a good idea through the way your boyfriend or girlfriend treats you. In line with what is mentioned above, is your partner the one for you? You will find the answer to that question based on how well your partner fits the bill. They may not possess all of the qualities listed above, but since your partner has most, you can be sure of having found the right man or woman for you. People might not say it in words, but the way they treat you speaks volumes about the way they feel. So if your partner is doing all the right things and shows there is a future, then they are beyond doubt the one for you.